Red Lights: A Record of Life's Defining Moments

Holding My Breath....

About two years ago, in September 2007, I set up a meeting with an adoption worker to discuss the possibility of me pursuing a second adoption.  At that point I was not entirely sure that I would but wanted to learn how they would go about placing a child when you already had a child in the home.  I wanted to know that if I ever decided to go ahead with adopting again that Mikey's interests would be considered through the whole process.  I was just gathering some information but wasn't so sure on what I would do with it. 

When Mikey was little I always thought I would adopt again.  When he turned about 4 I decided that I was perfectly content with having an only child and resigned myself to the fact that it would be just the two of us.

But then time happened and the urge to add to our family resulted in this meeting.  I walked away from the meeting still completely unsure of what I would do but feeling much better about the fact that they would keep Mikey's interests in mind in the plaement. 

I sat on it until February 2008.  Given how impulsive I have been with most of my life-altering decisions, this was a long time for me to sit.  Then I put in my application thinking that if there was a child out there that was meant to be in our family, then we would be matched and if not I could also be completely content with it being just Mikey and me.

Because this was my attitude, the wheels turned slowly from there. I took my training in July, did paperwork and had my homestudy visits in August and then waited until February 2009 before my homestudy was "written up" and ready to be placed in the matching data base.

Since then I have heard nothing.

Until this past week when I got a call from my adoption worker.  She wanted to know if I would consider changing my age range.  When I put in my application back in February 2008, I had put my age range down as 4-7 years old.  At that point Mikey has just turned 9 and I thought it was a good age difference.  Just a few weeks ago, I had thought about phoning the adoption worker and taking the 4 and 5 year olds off the bottom as with Mikey so close to turning 11 I just didn't want that big of an age difference.  So this phone call came at just the right time.  I ended up changing my age range to 6-8 years old and we faxed the paper work back and forth to get it done that day.

I did ask the social worker if that meant they had an 8 year old that they thought was a good match but she could say nothing more than that there had been some movement on my file but needed to have the official paper work in the age change in place first.  So I don't know.

So I'm sitting here holding my breath... wondering if I will be getting a phone call in the next couple of weeks.  Thinking that Mikey and I might be part of a family of three by Christmas time.  Dreaming and planning and trying not to get too excited as it would be a huge let down if there was no match in the end :(.

Back to School...

For the last year or so Mikey has had a burning desire to have a list of the activities that are going to happen in the future.  When we start something he needs to know what comes next.  When I want him to do something that he doesn't really like he bargains with me to be able to do something that he does like after the undesired task.  When he is waiting for something, he wants to know what will happen before that thing gets here.  He loves his timeline and particularly loves to bargain the good stuff in to his timeline.

I've been preparing him to go back to school for a while now as we started this morning.  Last night after supper I informed him that he was going to his school on the bus tomorrow (as we had been going to my school for several days by that point ;)).  He got very excited about this and then wanted a better picture of when so I told him he would sleep first and then go on the bus.  It was about 6:15 at this time.  He went away and thought about this for a while.  About 5 minutes later he came back asking to go bed (probably figuring the quicker he went to bed the quicker he would get the desired item).

It made my heart soar.  As each new year begins I remember the "horrible year" with Mikey regressing and taking on self-abusive behaviours.  We are so blessed to have found the school that he is in now. 

He had a wonderful day and is pretty tired out.  Tonight he might actually need to go to bed as early as he went yesterday ;).

Our Blow Up Boat

Mikey and I went to Sylvan Lake, Alberta last week.  Its a resort community built on a little lake in central Alberta.  Its a quiet place where you can park your car for a few days and walk to get everything you need.  We went intending to take in the beaches, tour boat trips, waterslidees, mini-golf, playgrounds and go-carts. 

Our first morning there we woke up to weather that wasn't overly suited to water pursuits but with hope in our hearts, we went out for a walk in the morning thinking that by that afternoon we would be at the beach.  We were about 5 of 6 blocks from our hotel when Mikey spotted a store that he wanted to go in.  We had already passed 3 or 4 stores that sold beach toys but this was the one that Mikey figured was worth checking out.

After exploring the store for a while, Mikey asked if he could have a boat.  I remembered the hours and hours that my brothers and I had spent with our blow-up boats as children and was excited to relive that part of my childhood now that I am a parent.  And so we bought a 3-man boat as I figured that way we could fit comfortably in the boat.  The man at the store was great and he really took some time getting excited with Mikey about his new boat :).  He then asked if we wanted him to blow up and set up the boat for us and Mikey right away said he did.

A few minutes later we were standing in the wind with fully blown up 3 man boat.  Mikey was shaking he was so excited about his boat and I was shaking because I was so nervous about getting this thing back to the hotel without having it blow away or Mikey take off as I had no free hands. 

We moved over to the other side of the road and walked along the beach.  Mikey took one side of the boat and I the other and we battled the wind all the way to the hotel.  We were quite the sight and whenever anybody would stop and look at us, Mikey would have to tell them that we were carrying a boat as if it would some sort of surprise to them that he needed to explain ;).

By the time we reached the hotel it had started to rain and our plans to go out to the beach that afternoon were put on hold.  Instead, I pulled out a bag of brand new balloons and we filled the boat full of blown up balloons and had a great time playing with them all afternoon.

It was the next day before we took the boat out on the lake.  We again were a sight carrying the boat loaded with all our beach stuff around.  Mikey enjoyed pushing the boat in the water and carrying it but he wasn't as thrilled with it when I put the two of us in and we went for a little row.  So he ended up using hte boat in the way that he figured it was meant to be used instead and had a blast and I loved watching him and witnessing all the ways I never dreamed up as a kid to play with this toy.  Go figure!

Back to Reason I Started This Blog...

I stumbled upon this video when I was reading through the teaching blogs that I like to visit from time to time.  It made me really stop and think about this blog and the reason I started it and how I have gotten away from its purpose.

My intention originally was to chronical the moments that gave life meaning.  Over time I have come to realize that it is all moments that give life meaning and its sometimes hard to find the individual ones that are somehow more significant or more important.  Perhaps, too, I have stopped being in the moment and its time to get back to that.  I don't know.

I know that as Mikey gets older his accomplishments and special moments still hold the same significance to me but I wonder if they would mean the same to others or if they would just see how "delayed" he is.  To me he is just Mikey and he is exactly where he is supposed to be but there are times where I feel that I am protecting him by not sharing stories of things that would be cute of children much younger than him.

And then I get to thinking of how I'm missing the boat and it is exactly this lesson of marvelling in the moment without comparison to anything else that I'm supposed to be learning on this journey.

I have decided to get back to the roots of what this blog is meant to be about but perhaps what it was really meant to be about is just the honest sharing of our lives and our moments.  Please stay with me as I try to get back on track...

Let the games begin...

So I'm feeling like summer is now officially over even though I do not technically go back to work until Thursday.  I'm looking at my list of things that I wanted to accomplish this summer and am wondering wehre exactly this summer went.  Crazy how fast life moves!

Mikey has been having a rough go of things since I started concentrating on work again.  Although we talk about going back to school, I don't know that he fully understands until the first morning that he gets on that bus.  One of his activity camps this summer was hosted at the local college and was a bit like school in that they did do some seat work in a college room that could only be seen as a classroom to Mikey.  I'm wondering if he is confused about which school he will be going to as he has been a bit out of sorts since that experience.  Its sometimes very hard when your child doesn't have the verbal skills to let you know exactly what is bothering him.

I had hoped for news on the adoption front this summer but didn't get anything so that is still at the same place as it was back in April (homestudy complete, waiting for a match).

With the fall quickly approaching, we have had to make some decisions about activities that Mikey will be involved in this fall.  He will continue to going to gymnastics on Saturday afternoons as he says he enjoys that and would like to keep going.  We have decided not to continue with scouting as Mikey can kind of take it or leave it.  I'm looking in to one other activity for him to join instead and am thinking a kid's bowling league might be the way to go.  He seems interested/excited about doing that so we will see if it can work.  We also will continue to regular swimming and skating throughout the winter ourselves as lessons just haven't worked in the past with that.  When I chose scouts last year, I wanted to round out Mikey's experiences but am finding that his interests really lie in the busy, active sports kind of stuff so I guess that is where we are going this year.  Perhaps we will even get to the ski hill a time or two as apparently he really enjoyed that last year.

Guess its time to go and face the day.  I will once again be dragging Mikey to my classroom to do some work and then we will be going out to my parents for a visit as its been a while since I have seen them.

Falling Off Friday

Just wanted to put up a quick post that I did my weigh-in a couple days late this week due to being on vacation.  It was a great week with a 4 pound loss to bring my 8 week total to 24.5 pounds.  My goal for the summer (by August 31) is 27 pounds so I know I'm going to be close!

Falling Off Friday: Still Plugging Along

This week marked 7 weeks since I started to seriously work on losing weight and I'm proud to report that I went over the 20 pound hump this week by losing 1.5 more pounds.  I'm now down a total of 20.5 pounds :).  Woo hoo!

Hoping to be able to continue to post this time of post each Friday for some time to come yet as I still have a long journey ahed of me.

Thankful Thursday: Today's Ten

Its Thursday again so here goes...

1. For the opportunity to get away next week. Mikey and I will be going to Sylvan lake to enjoy the beaches, waterslides, tour boats, minigolf, go-carts and just plain old away time. It turns out a dear friend of ours will also be joining us with her children. I'm really looking forward to our little holiday and time spent with Stacy and family.
2. For the fact that my friend Sonja will be returning with us to our home after our little trip. It will be wonderful to have her here to visit with us and she is a great help with the job that I have to do that weekend - starting to put my clasrsoom together :).
3. For summertime! Its so nice to have this time to spend with Mikey and to rejuvinate.
4. For Mikey. No explantion needed on this one really. What a gift!
5. For the potential of another child for our family.  I'm now homestudy ready and just waiting.
6. For the fact that I have a job that I love.  I have always loved teaching but never really knew this level of passion for a job until I moved in to working with this population.  I am very blessed with my staffing ratio and the actual staff that are in the room this year.
7. Because we have enough to meet our needs and always address many of our wants but not so much that we forget what is important in life.
8. For the fact that we got to see my brother, his wife and their children last week.  We originally thought we wouldn't see them this visit as we ended up being sick when they were in this area on their trip.  Then they came back through a bit later on their way home and we were feeling better so we could see them :).
9. For our health.  We have had a pretty healthy past year and for that I feel great.
10. For my progress on my weight loss.  I reached the 20 pounds lost mark yesterday and am thrilled.  I'm thankful the what is both inside and outside of me that is helping me to move towards a healthier weight.

Introducing My Other Blog

A whlie ago, I started a second blog.  I was finding that I needed somewhere to record and sort my ideas related to teaching and originally started the blog as something private where I could do that.  With the school year coming on quickly, I have been posted there more and then I got a couple of comments/questions and realized what a great learning experience it was for me to clarify what I had written.  I think ultimately it will just make me a better teacher to have a place to post what we are doing as well as record my thoughts/ideas.  I have decided to use it as the key piece to our mandated "Professional Growth Plans" this year.  I wanted to just let people here know about it in case you are interested in the "professional" part of my life :).

Here is the link: http://redlights.typepad.com/building_a_program/

Manic Monday: This Week's Happenings...

Monday, August 10, 2009

• Mikey starts Bug Exploration Day Camp (1:00-4:00 p.m.)
• Finish Cleaning House (doing end of the summer top to bottom clean)
• Get condo papers in order.
• Condo Meeting @  7:30 p.m.

Tuesdsay, August 11, 2009

• Mikey at Bug Exploration Day Camp 1:00-4:00 p.m.
• Take photos of all items that will go up on garage sale website (part of end of summer clean is to eliminate unneeded things)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

• Mikey at Bug Exploration Day Camp 1:00-4:00 p.m.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

• Mikey at Bug Exploration Day Camp 1:00-4:00 p.m.

Friday, August 14, 2009

• Mikey at Bug Exploration Day Camp 1:00-4:00 p.m.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

• Nothing Planned Yet!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

• Finish packing for trip.
• Take dogs to the kennel (trying a new one this time).
• Early to bed so we can get an early start!